My last blog of 2015 was only a few days ago where I shared the perils of falling off ladders and sliding down snakes, (you had to be there). I had no intention of blogging so soon but, once again, a series of completely unexpected events has conspired to me doing so.
First of all, thank you all for a fabulous response, emails and texts (do feel free to comment on the actual post too – it is helpful to others!) Although I am keen to point out that posts like this aren’t indicative of any significant lengths of darkness or depression, simply cleverly disguised lessons and ‘personal growth stimulants’! Those of you, who know me well will know of my theory that it is repression that leads to depression, so in order to avoid the latter I tend to avoid the former and share my thoughts rather than repress or suppress them.
Last week delivered some tough times. They accumulated and I risked being in an emotionally vulnerable position. I got hurt. That hurt in turn has lead to some of the most profound understandings, discoveries and, in turn, subsequent changes being made for a while.
It was purely the discomfort (peppered with a little distress) that led me to investigate the real cause of my unhappiness, which had been waiting for that day to reveal itself. We are not talking general unhappiness, by the way – I love my life and am very grateful for the wonderful things it encompasses – but pain or discomfort is simply a very effective way of drawing your attention to a problem; a problem that needs addressing if it is to be remedied. Awareness is a wonderful thing but as one of the lovely ‘sages’ who wrote to me pointed out, ‘Awareness is only the start; mastery is the key!’ As he gently reminded me, the only way to mastery is repetition.
And so after some difficult processing I eventually realised – and accepted – I had my ladder leaning up against the wrong wall! Or one of my ladders, I should say.
Sliding down the snake to the base of the ladder has enabled me to choose a more appropriate ladder to climb. It is an absolutely fascinating and wondrous process, once you have the courage to allow and embrace it. I had to make choices I have been avoiding, largely through a feeling of obligation and familiarity. They are not good reasons to base a choice of ladder upon.
There are still a few difficult conversations to be had and a few changes to actually be implemented but I know they are the right ones to make. It feels right. There is that sweet feeling of relief once you accept something to be true, no matter how much you have been resisting it.
Remarkably I have already received my beautiful little signs from the universe that I made a better ladder-choice and start writing for Barefoot Vegan as a regular contributor this month. It is a familiar tribe; it feels good and right and actually happened very quickly and organically (pun intended) once I accepted I was not in the right place beforehand.
There is also new branding on its way and new strap lines like “Encouraging by Example”. In an increasingly dysmorphic environment where people are quick to shout about the problems without accepting any responsibility – a little like blaming forks for making them fat – it is the most effective thing any of us can do
I can only urge you to make sure that before you struggle up any ladders, you check they are leaning against the right wall; if they’re not, enjoy the snake slide and pick a better ladder.
A Happy and Courageous New Year to you all.