It is no secret that I am a disciple of self-growth and personal development; I want to be the best I can be – it takes a lot of work, it takes commitment and it takes courage. It also takes unexpected pathways.
Things are going well in my life, personally and professionally. That doesn’t mean life is easy, it just means that I am managing to maintain some kind of balance through awareness and effort. I am learning lessons in areas that I have previously opted to avoid but that’s my current choice. I choose to address these things and not leave them for another day, or another life maybe. A little friction and discomfort is indicative that some ingrained pattern of behaviour is being challenged. Does it still serve me? Is it still appropriate? I am happy to address these issues on a regular basis, to keep adjusting the sails to the winds of change. But sometimes I am hit by a hurricane!
I am neither a swerver nor a quitter; I want to learn. As I said, I want to be the best or ‘healthiest’ that I can be, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I believe that is the Toll to our Divine Purpose, a desire and commitment to pursue our full potential. Of course it is also part of the actual Divine Path itself.
We have all experienced moments of ‘flow’ or ‘bliss’, when we feel totally aligned internally and externally and we all want to have more of those moments. And it’s those moments that drive me; those beautiful heart-warming moments where the sun shines, the skies are blue and the breeze warm and playful.
But what about the black skies, the tumultuous storms, the icy winds, the bleak blankets of low cloud and the hurricanes; those emotional weather fronts that we try to avoid, that we perceive as negative, undesirable and which we attribute to spoiling our plans and causing disruption to our emotional travel plans.
They are all as necessary as the sunshine for growth. I often find myself analogising about nature and put at it’s simplest, ‘we grow when it rains.’
I share this as I emerge from an emotional thunderstorm – still feeling a little vulnerable and sensitive. But instead of berating myself for not avoiding the debilitating downpours and ‘staying indoors’ until it passed I am instead grateful to be rid of the psychological dust and grime that it washed away and for the cleansing. These storms often come with little warning and I was caught out – without time to prepare, to protect myself and even take appropriate action. But there lies the gift. If we see something coming we have the option of avoidance. I have avoided this issue for too long. It was time to let it go, let the inner storm meet with the outer storm and to let the frustrations, angst and injustices be swept away.
I am slowly drying out and warming up and am still walking forward.
I am writing this for inclusion in my next book Barefoot and Beyond, the sequel to Barefoot and Before and which will be equally as authentic and honest. It is proving more challenging to write, as it is current and reaching deeper levels of awareness. It is being written ‘as it happens’. That gives it increased energy, increased power but also requires an increase in courage.
The process of self-development has been likened to removing layers of an onion as you address issues that have been covered up over the years – last week felt more like layers of skin being removed. It was painful and raw but new skin will grow, softer and stronger.
It was Jim Carrey who said, “Dare to risk being seen in all of your glory.” But I would add that sometimes you have to risk being seen in all of your pain too.